For a
variety of reasons, I've been ruminating on faith and commitment quite a bit of
late. Not least when I reminded myself that Easter isn't actually about gorging
yourself on chocolate shaped like eggs and bunnies but is one of the most important
religious events on the Christian calendar. Thanks to my dear mum the word
faith will always carry with it religious overtones. But there IS more to faith
than that.
Faith, to
me, is belief in something that doesn't have definitive proof and commitment is
sticking to something (religion, values, jobs, investments!! etc. etc.) or
someone through thick and thin, bad and good, doubts and certainty. That's the
definitions out of the way but the tricky part is how do we know what or who to
have faith in and how do we know when we should commit to something or someone.
I've had
my faith and commitment sorely tested over the years. Many of you out there reading
this blog have too. I know. I hear the stories. The rug's been pulled from
under my feet and I've been slapped in the face with lessons on how life throws
you major curve balls and can change in an instant. Losing people you love in
tragic circumstances tends to have that effect. Divorce does too.
But even
with the grief and the accompanying fears of having further bedrocks of life
snatched away comes a small silver lining. When you've been through foundation
shattering events a strange kind of fearlessness overtakes you. Despite well
meaning people asking you how you get out of bed in the morning you know you're
still standing. Against your will you equip yourself with a survival toolkit.
The "go to" attitude of that toolkit is gratitude. My health, my
children's health, loyal and loving family, financial security - rinse and
repeat when having a bad day.
I've come
to realise that for most people and certainly me, big decisions on faith and
commitment will never come without some doubts and questioning. It's the
biggest cliché out there - there are no
guarantees - yet frantically my brain will search for a way to get one. After
exhausting myself with that process I give up and go on gut instincts. Life has
a way of forcing you to keep making decisions, to move forward. The reality is
that you take a leap, cross your fingers and hope for the best. You wouldn't be
human if you didn't make some sort of contingency plan but I don't see that as
a lack of commitment. Just common sense.
It's what
Nicky and I talk about all the time. The risk-return relationship. You can
stand on the sidelines your whole life and never take a chance on anything or
anyone and then on your deathbed you get to say - I was safe. If safety is all
you seek then all power to you but I believe the best stuff, the icing on top,
comes when you take a chance. Yes it can be volatile, yes we don't know how it
will turn out exactly but it provides colour and richness to our lives. Deep
down we all know when we want to jump.
At the
end of the day faith and belief in yourself is what's required. In your
decision making, in your ability to love and maybe lose, in your ability to
survive the inevitable ups and downs of life.
Perhaps
fittingly I end with a bible verse that resonates. 2 Timothy 4:7. My mum quoted
it to me. Jane McGrath had it read out at her funeral. Two women high on my
people to admire list. The sentiment is perhaps how we all want to look back at
the end of our lives.
"I have fought the good fight, I have finished the
race, I have kept the faith."
Have a
wonderful Easter.
