Love me, love me not

My 14 year old asked me yesterday what a misogynist was. My answer both intrigued and confused him. How can a whole gender be hated? By whom? Well my response was of course, mainly men (though you’d do well to wonder if that’s really true, what with the backstabbing we sometimes see among the “fairer” sex). Next question: but how can they? Don’t they too have mums and sisters and daughters? At this stage I’d have to refer the question to someone more qualified in behavioural psychology than myself, as the cause of that particular mental state is plainly beyond my realm of expertise.

However what surprises me is how prolific this mental condition is, and often present in the most unlikely of people. Not complete aversion, but rather an intense loathing of women attaining positions of influence and power.

Take people’s reactions to Julia Gillard. I am amazed at how vitriolic and unashamedly hypercritical so many men, and some women, are of her. I’m not talking about her politics or policies, but her voice, accent, hair, dress and general demeanour. Even her earlobes don’t escape comment. The intense hatred of these aspects of her (what else is it but her femininity?) appalls me. You rarely hear male politicians being discussed in this manner. To me it smacks of a sinister misogyny that seems to fester beneath the surface of many a benign male who otherwise pays lip service to the equality of women.

Test question: what is the equivalent of the word, misogyny, for men? Does it even exist? Well it does, I looked it up – misandry. Ever heard of it? No, me neither. It does not form part of everyday discourse. I know some women probably do dislike the entire male gender, more likely as a result of sexual abuse or exploitation than any other reason. But many continue to love and nurture the males of their family and close friends despite experiencing horrifying incidents at the hands of the male gender.

We long for the day when we are all celebrated for who we are and what we can contribute to those around us, rather than judged and sentenced as a result of our sexual characteristics. With any luck when my son grows to adulthood, he will live in a world closer to this ideal. Here’s hoping.